I’m not afraid
At least I think so
Because the fear that I know makes mine alien
What can I call mine? If I’m not afraid of what I see
But afraid of what I think
Afraid of what remains
Not what initiated it
I’m scared to close my eyes at night
For the fears that take shape without my consent
For the fears that take control of my fantasies
To make ugly my beautiful world
I’m afraid to look, for they take eternal shape
I can’t tell, for it would be to self-proclaim myself insane
I’m not crazy; I’m just scared
I’m not losing my mind; I’m losing my courage
I lay at night screaming to a void
A vortex that comes to swallow what I fought to create
What is a fear of the unknown, a fear that you know you created?
I’m losing my wits to what could be tamed
I walk everyday afraid of where my eyes will land; for my soul shall remain
I envy that fear of the outside
That fear where you scream for a second and laugh the next
Not that fear that claws from within
For that fear that keeps me awake
I walk like a soldier from a battle that left me scarred, constantly looking behind my back
Waiting for the fable of my imagination to strike
Hoping it doesn’t impale through my soul.
Model: Keza Fiona
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