I was told (POEM)

I was told

Five years ago, I said I was told

Of how you shall waltz in my life

I remember that walk, the final minute that sealed my fate to yours

I can see it, under the scorching sun as I made my way home

An entire day of seeing you, and yet thought you were but a passing train

Never to halt at my platform

The almighty spoke, and I turned numb

Life had made me believe a lie

To embrace the idea that love was never meant for me

Love took everything from me

In the past it came like a beast with gifts

A slap followed with an embrace

I was eighteen when I decided a man had no place in my life

It was never personal, it was just one last attempt

To salvage my dignity, my self-respect had been trumped on

And so my pride stood tall, for that was all I had

Years have gone by, growth came to me too slow

But stayed like beloved guest. I still don’t know what shall be

My spirit hums to the tune of yours

And yet we sat next to each other as you avoided my gaze.

I want you on the occasion it doesn’t hurt

You are not some consolation prize, for that I submit to heaven

To become a person that will receive your love and not push it away

Just so when you ask me my forever, I will give it without looking back

I know you are not a ghost from the past, but my mind is but time a traveling machine

That holds no space for the present.

BY UBB

NOT THE PICTURE THOUGH

DEDICATED TO IRR

MY DIVERGENCE (POEM)

I have a divergent mind

That should sum it up right?

Who you think I'm

But it doesn't

Not even a fraction of it

It just means I feel deeply

And so I have to know my halts

For spiraling can be constant

My space is my stand

Just so your world won't engulf mine

My big is nothing to y'all

But I'm learning to live with that

You won't hear "are you okay" from me

But I will cook for you every night

I will remember what you wore the first time we met

I will walk in your shoes, as mine collects dust

I will never walk away first, but once I do it's forever

Heartless you say? No, It's survival

For I see worlds you will never see

And If I don't let go, they shall collide

I'm not sorry

Your typical was a language I loved to learn

But my writing was never what I had to sit in a class for

It's my advocacy and compass

A place to make it all about me for once

For my head can't allow it

As my mornings are filled with my worries for others.

To know that my middle ground is your far end

My perimeters seem like walls to y'all

I'm at my last straw

For who I'm, you sum it up in a diagnosis

And so my loud and clear is in these words

But even that you won't be able to see it.

UBB

FIRST BORN (POEM)

I grew up with you all

Many moons later and you came along

And somehow life became this urgency to fit in

Family somehow, and yet my color is a different font

All these years, trying to laugh at your jokes

and yet mine are never that funny to you

Lately, it no longer bothers me though

For my table is set for someone else

And that's okay

I will serve yours gracefully

Even if I'm never offered a sit

Maybe our tales were always meant to be shared and never survived together

Your calls will always be answered

For my birth happened just so I could see yours

For my skin to bear the signs of time

Just so yours won't wither

I love you to a degree you will never get

Just so you could love yourselves

Conceived to pay a tax

Of my arrival in this world

My table will always have those extra sits

You're welcome when you realize

I never sat at yours.

When that gun fires to announce the start of our race

Don't mistake the head start i give you

For winning isn't the endgame

But running with my eyes fixed at your backs

Is my God given trophy.

UBB