Dear God

I am writing, for fear takes my words

Like an invisible hand that covers my mouth

Stitching my lips not to say out loud what my soul is

Is it wrong that you took more than you gave

That’s how I feel

Regardless of what my spirit reveals

In agony, my being has stopped hoping

I reach out for a shred of a blessing

To have like I have sought

To see a presence behind my wide open door

But a decade of my name in your book

And still I AM not

 You called and all that I am responded

But to this day, my voice hits a wall

Is this purgatory? But then isn’t grace the currency in your world?

I pray, for I’m flesh

Is this Dante's inferno or

Da Vinci's last supper?

Are you dropping me to finally lift me up

Am I weak for you to be almighty?

All these questions for answers I know I won't like

And yet your will... It's said

And yet here I'm still, waiting for my three wise men

Is it gold I ask? Or Myrrh you will provide

These words, I can't utter out loud.

The image ingrained in me of who I think you're

Still haunts me to this day

Is the best I want for myself

The good, Adonai's will has for me

Have I truly seen your goodness?

Or am I the tail to everyone else's head

Am I to find you here, when my prayers couldn't

Oh Dear God...

By UBB

Image: From Pinterest