I resent...You (POEM)

I resent all that you stand for

I resent that’s what drew me to you in the first place

I resent that hating you is getting easier by the day

For my sermon to choose you seems hypocritical

I resent that I feel small to a bigger sight of you

I resent all these mixed up feelings that get me stuck in the headlights

I am not sorry; I just want you gone

If you feel that way, go the other way and let’s never meet at any crossroads

No choice should ever be birthed from this and yet the human that I am wants to reject you before you do it to me.

I despise what this is doing to me, and should just let go

But for what all that I feel can’t take away that it is still you

You built a wall and I made it permanent

Together we added bricks to cement that old grudge

For each wants to win at this battle of holding back

There is a huge lump in my throat that I am winning

It’s crazy that what led to this was just that an unspoken disappointment

I am no judge or jury but I can see the verdict that lies between us

That we are ending…

That what we could be no longer holds that trophy

We are turning into the walking dead that smells any blood as long it ain’t us

I know I will find us at any stage, shouting the loudest

Advising the multitudes for what we can never tell each other in that dark room

We turned black and blue from all that silent backlash

I can’t seem to move towards you anymore

We can’t seem to find each other in the light

For what shines brighter is we ain’t enough anymore

That truth is a consolation to me, an ointment to a wound that I carried for so long

That I no longer have to try

That loving you was becoming a loss

That gnawed on that person that once a cared

I wonder if my new found freedom means that I am that exception to a rule

That old skeleton finally out

For a reality check that I wasn’t haunted

For I was the ghost.

By UBB

Dear R. (Poem)

I hold my pen now

As i can't hold your hand yet

To tell myself what i can't tell you yet

I can count on my fingers

The words we've exchanged

The non-significant times to the world but my own

Where my barriers shook, second guessing my persona

Wanting to be someone else, maybe one who can catch your eye.

Wondering how high are the stakes to win you over or lose myself over you.

You disrupted my world the very moment my eyes landed on you

You questioned my very ways of living by just existing

You've become such a big part of my thoughts,

I sometimes wonder, if i dwell in yours as well?

Every inch of who you are fascinates me

From the move of your hands to the shuffle of your feet

You scare me as much as you fascinate me

Conflicted to run away or get to you

Torn between the urge to know you or behold you from afar

I have lived so many lives, been so many people

I wonder who do i offer to you?

And would you take me if I did?

So, many questions for answers yet to come

To live in the present for a future yet to be

My heart soars at a glimpse of you

To feel so many things for a life not yet intertwined with mine

to reach out for an mirage that's fading

for a question that burns my lips

can we be? can we truly be ever be R?

By UBB

P.S: The picture is of one my favorite movies called "Warm bodies" the zombie character is called R. but the poem is dedicated to another person i do call R.

The Loner (POEM)

I have been two people my whole life

One I show the world and the other I keep to myself

For only I can understand her

She is this incredible human being that is self sufficient and assured

She had no one but her to elevate and affirm her

With these four arms and legs I walked and lived

With only split seconds to decide whom I will show

The loner in me just loves that solitude that life has offered

But the other sometimes just craves that simple caress from another

As my other face just cringes at the other of what I could let go

An entire universe of mine constructed by my only words and actions

That stands on the hinges of my every stumbling steps

Reaching out to a certain life means to erase half of me

I want both. The ecstasy of companionship and the amazing solo ride

I held back to what everybody called fulfillment

For I know not what my heart could prompt me to do

I am a loner and fate was never generous to show me what I was missing out

And so, I took the wheel and drove into the sun set

It is childish to put a period on what The Omni never deemed it to be

But for my sake I chose her, for she is what I have ever known

She is the only I knew who could handle and bare

For people only had opinions but she had consolation

I am sorry to the Better that could have smiled to someone else

But instead chose to have this conversation with herself

My apologies, Mr. no one that I am depriving you of a skipping heart

I am selfish and learned the hard way to be

I am on the road now

Towards what? I don’t know, but alone I am certain

I chose the shore than the ever-growing horizon

Every day is a daily reminder of that one question… if I chose right?

But I can only be certain that for now, I chose me.

By UBB