CROSS WORDS (POEM)

I expressed myself

And all you saw were my lips moving

Never the words that came out

I hugged you

I held your hand

And all that remains now is the space

That none of us want to cross over

I hold no grudge

Just that my truth was never meant for a human soul

I'm back where I began

On a piece of paper writing

For that is when my words are naked and bare

My world is awake now

Taking in that I'm different now

But still who I used to be

For who I'm inside can come out now

With no fear that I will give myself secondhand clothes

That my mind is lit

With the realization that my arm will always stretch out

For that invisible someone

For I can't help but see them

I never asked for it

For that aching need for inclusivity

That my steps will always halt midway...

For that plead

Who I'm now hurts you

And who you're now is but a distant land

Poetry is how loud I'm and can be

For my verbality is my silence

My whole life was a loud voice

And that is how you only want to hear me

And so this finality was inevitable

Back to my cross words now

as their complexity is my comfort

UBB

My Significant Other - Poem

In this era, you say you have a boyfriend and it sums up the entire relationship

But that name is everything that falls short of what I am hoping

I want to know when he is not okay even when I hear his laugh across the room

To be the first I call when my world rises or fall

To love everything about him, even those I hated in others

For when he calls my name, I melt

Cringe I know! but its better that than the typical

I want a man who knows I’m the toughest woman he is ever met

Who will understands "yes, I am fine” as I am not fine

Who knows that when I am lifting heavy objects is when I want my arms to hurt and not my heart

To know that unsaid I love you is the loudest I have ever been

That I am what life made me and what I made out of my life

That I am my truest self in my head, and when I look at him every fiber of imagination does not even compare.

That in all eras of history, no name comes to mind to what I am looking for

So I gave no name to it, only yearned for it

To kiss that person and know we were born for each other

Our galaxies beautiful on their own and universal when we held hands.

How do I describe that what I mean has no words

Yet the it must exist

For I am the half of it

It’s not what will leads to something

Or what ends in death

It is what shall remain when none of us are no more

That one look at me and he will know that we don’t need to understand it,

But only live it

That what time and space can’t grasp

Our spirits will engulf and our souls will become.

BY UBB

Sledgehammer

I got job once,

Do I go on? Or did you just tell I didn’t like it

I got a call one day

And with it, sealed my fate in white collar world

I was desperate and broke

And so any offer was on the table

I had just quit school

The naïve young woman I was thought

The universe would sing chorus of my triumph

Instead life hit like a sledge hammer

Not loud like I told you so. But loud let me show how so.

Life had been traced for me with centuries of failures before me

And so, you can imagine I wasn’t winning for myself

It wasn’t mistake, don’t get me wrong

I walked away from a possibility of ever looking back

And knowing i had a choice

But transitions are cruel

They come to you, knowing it will be your most tiring climb

And slowly my delusion hit me, I didn’t chose for things to come easy

But rather to know that any direction had a price

I sat every day in that black chair, signing and stamping away my creativity

For a solace of a paycheck

The solitude that my body will never catch up to my mind

Was such a loud cry

Every day I saw rudeness in all colors

And gave it such a canvas of a beautiful smiles

The wrenching feeling that time was slipping away, was all I could think

For my pain wanted no other perceptive

I handed out a summary of my experience to anyone who would ask

And they all seemed to want to tell just one thing

I didn’t have what they were looking for

And each time then would lead to my next time after

I was a lioness that had forgotten it could once roar

For I knew I was the hunted now

Each day tackled all my principles to the ground

To confront who was I without my writing?

Did each day take away a piece of myself?

I was doing everyone proud

At the cost of just being another one alive

And one day just another to die

Never a figure that changed the norm in a period of scorn.

 UBB